The Many Works of Pat Hatt
January 5, 2015
So Stephanie Faris tagged me in a secret thingy majiggy, I think they call that a blog hop, but I like thingy majiggy better, so let’s go with that. Now I have to reveal five secrets to the world. I have to or she said she will cut off my fingers. She is really rather violent. Or was that a dream I had? I just don’t know anymore. Do they make pills for that?
As you can see from the above picture the cat was rather miffed that he didn’t get named and instead it went to me. I won’t repeat what he called her, mainly because meowing doesn’t really scream masculinity. He already told all the good secrets anyway, I don’t know what he’s whining about. Umm anyway, now on with the secret show.
Uber Secret #1: It once took me and my brother five hours to catch a mouse. Yep, little bleepity bleep was cunning and the prissy cats at mom’s were no help. But we got the sucker.
Uber Secret #2: I’m a thief. That’s right, I should be locked away, preferably in a nice country club resort, and have the key thrown away. I printed personal documents at an old job and took the paper home. I used their ink too! Oh the shame.
Uber Secret #3: I can do all normal math in my head. No computer or calculator. The power goes out and I can still do it. Unlike cashiers with a dunce look on their face, using their fingers, when they have the time to pull their finger from their nose that is. Now if you get to calculus, my calculator may need to be dusted off.
Uber Secret #4: I like dogs as well as cats. Oh the humanity. Could you ever have guessed that? 7 dogs have come and some have gone in my lifetime. But they are beat by cats for all of you who think I defected, 19 cats altogether have come so far.
Uber Secret #5: I pee a lot. What? Too much information? Well when you drink 3 liters of water a day, you gotta go quite often. I can hold it to avoid public restrooms and when the cat is curled up on my lap though, just for your added information.
And there you are, my uber secrets have been spilled for the whole world to see. Can I keep all my fingers now? You can have a toe if you really must though. If you want to do the secret thingy majiggy feel free. Then you can pretend you were all picked by me. Isn’t that great? I’m lazy? Never, I’ll just go back to meowing in the corner now. Any secrets to share?
Enjoy life, forget the strife.