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  • Published:
  • March 13, 2017

Category:
I’ve Met God!

Can you believe it? I’ve been around God for the last 24 weeks, yes, I’m counting, and I didn’t even know it. Turns out he is rather short and has more issues than Trump has trying to pass a bill, but he’s the best thing ever.

Goes out of his way to help needy children and drunks on side the road. Would never ever touch a cigarette or that bottle of alcohol he has sitting around. He’s done more things than any human ever, and he’s done them at the same time too. He can be on one continent drilling for oil while on another continent performing surgery at the exact same minute of the exact same day. Now that is super impressive, right?

Did I mention he always has your best interests at heart? Even when he is screwing you ten ways from Sunday. Everything is soooo about you. How you can be used. How you can be manipulated. How you can help the almighty. How you don’t act nowhere near as good as him. How he can do something but if you try it, that is a sin. Keeping you from sinning is something you should thank him for. Boy, God sure has your best interests in mind, huh?

So if you want God’s address just let me know. He might screw you out of your last dime, but you’ll walk away thinking you got the best deal ever. What is more important than that?

Side Note: I was not struck down by lightning, so it’s safe to say I may be wrong. Ever meet “God” at your sea?

Enjoy life, forget the strife.

2 Comments

Snowcatcher

2017-03-13 14:09:58 Reply

I’ve met a few people who sincerely try to carry out His will, and I try to do likewise. He has never given me the short end of the stick. I always try to do the same for others.

    Pat Hatt

    2017-03-13 17:09:22 Reply

    Yeah, but some sure aren’t sincere as their ego is clear.

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