• Published:
  • September 28, 2015

To The Website Updaters

This is just a little ditty that I came up with so I don’t have to answer emails. I delete them anyway, but that doesn’t sound as good for the reason for posting this. So here is to the website updaters and their spam.

I bet you are great,

At sending out spam.

To that none can relate,

That aren’t equal to toe jam.

If you were to fall,

And maybe hit your head,

You may see the writing on the wall,

And actually read what is said.

No, I don’t need you,

And your stupid trash.

I flush your emails down the loo,

Where the rats and they can have a bash.

My customers need converting?

Is that really true?

Is this a form of flirting?

If so, I have no interest in you.

Should you figure life out,

Still don’t bother me.

You are like a trout.

Slippery in a big sea.

Meaning you are full of crap,

And you probably smell.

But then the more you flap,

The more I can tell.

Maybe pop a tic tac,

Or go take a shower.

You are just a hack,

That emails by the hour.

Should you learn your name,

Please don’t tell it to me.

Ted, Mike, Jamie, Matthew are all the same,

With your fake email spree.

If you’ve helped thousands before,

Go and bother those guys.

I want nothing more,

Then to be a booby prize.

As in you get nadda,

Not one single bit.

The more you yadda yadda,

The more I think of you as a twit.

If I want an update,

I’ll find a non spammer.

So crawl into your crate,

And let the dog watch you stammer.

If King Abubu is the dung,

Then you are the beetle.

Maybe you’ll get stung,

Ending up all fetal.

That is my final word.

That is my final say.

Now I flip you the bird,

And don’t wish you a nice day.

That was just fun to do. I guess the cat can come out in me here as well. Stupid site builder or updater or whatever emails I get a bunch of. And it is mostly from the same idiot with a different name and email. I can tell if something has been written by the same person. Dumb spammers.

Have you gotten any I’ll update your site emails lately? Hey, at least it makes good blog fodder.

Enjoy life, forget the strife.


Alex J. Cavanaugh

2015-09-28 15:52:42 Reply

I don’t get a lot of spam, but it still comes.
I also don’t subscribe to anyone’s feed as it would overwhelm me. Besides, that’s why I have Feedly. Let it go there, not my inbox.

    Pat Hatt

    2015-09-28 16:19:43 Reply

    They get me through the contact page on this site, dirty sobs.


2015-09-29 04:51:33 Reply

Isn’t it funny how you can have a great site that gets tons of hits, and you get these stupid offers to improve your site and bring in so much more traffic? Or offers to increase your traffic if you will buy their adds?

Ugh. Good ol’ delete button…

    Pat Hatt

    2015-09-29 12:19:47 Reply

    Yep, they have a program they use to fill in contact forms of tons of sites, hoping to get a bite.

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