• Published:
  • November 27, 2017

Check Please!

The whine of it all continues to amaze. Not in a good way either. I’m sure it is like this in most any profession. Except I guess when the boss gets you to do something it goes from whine to order. If you took every whine as an order in writing though, you’d run up one pretty big bill.

“I see you have a lot of kids books. I’m just starting out. Would you help out a new author by providing me with pictures? I have the words, I just need the pictures. I’m new. I would really appreciate it if you helped me.” Need I go on?

“I’m not good enough to write. But I have a story. Would you consider writing it for me?” Enough said? No?

“I can’t write like you. Would you take my story and write it? I promise that I will give you credit. I may even split the pay with you when it becomes a best seller.” Need more? No? Bah, what’s one more.

“I can’t write as good as you and others. You do it so perfectly. I can’t. Would you consider writing and we could split the profits? I can’t give you credit for it because I want my name to be on it. It is my story. But I will split the profits with you. I promise.” Had enough? No? Yes? Bah, I can’t hear you.

“Hi. I haven’t the time to write a book, but I have a great idea. I know it will make millions. Would you consider writing it for me? I know you would do a good job and maybe we’ll both make some money. You will have to sign a NDA first though. This is my story.” Just one more? Okay, you twisted my arm.

“How did you ever create so many? Can you give me some tips? Would you consider teaming up? I have an idea, I just need someone to write it.” Clearly you can’t write. Team up is used all wrong.

A few of these I’ve seen in comments and two of them were asked of me. I bet you can guess one of the two. Hint: It is in Hank’s favorite position. Since when did people become so frigging lazy? Sit and type. There is no big mystery to it. No sob story is going to work on me. Everyone started somewhere. Advice is one thing, but a “team up” where one person does all the work for nothing? What is this, my university marketing class? Heck, at least I got a fancy $45,000 piece of paper out of that.

Have you ever gotten any such “offers” at your sea? Do you roll your eyes and hit delete like me?

Enjoy life, forget the strife.


Alex J. Cavanaugh

2017-11-27 15:33:56 Reply

Everyone wants the easy way out. Sorry, kids. Start writing.

    Pat Hatt

    2017-11-27 16:15:39 Reply

    Easy way is what they want indeed. Ugg.


2017-11-28 02:42:27 Reply

I’ve not had too many such offers for writing, but boy, crocheting, knitting and quilting… and sometimes even photography. They want to pay me $15 to make a pair of socks that will take me at least 8 hours. They want snowflakes for 50 cents each. I write free patterns and let them do whatever they’d like with what they make without asking for any compensation whatsoever, and they thank me by complaining because my background is black and my text is white. Boy, we’re getting off to a great scroogy Christmas, aren’t we???

    Pat Hatt

    2017-11-28 10:30:56 Reply

    haha sure sounds like you’ve had plenty of experience with the whiny moochers too at your zoo.

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